Ruby Ibarra - Beyoutiful (Spoken Word)
Much thanks & peace to Tony Rain of www.strivefilms.com for directing the video! Twitter @TonyRain
I wanna be 5’5” with brown eyes
Big breasts, small waist, and nice thighs
‘Cause I only see myself through your eyes
So I don’t eat, but I’m fed with more lies
So I try and I cry and I purge and I vomit
The urge to be honest with no courage to just stop it
I see society’s ideals, so I feel I need a shield
Skipped another meal so I can keep my appeal
But my skin starts to peel so I can no longer feel
What it means to be real so I fall on these heels
‘Cause who cares about the frame that holds my diploma?
Or the train of my thoughts that molds my persona?
Or the way I’ve been brought up to be as a grown up?
But it’s the body’s frame, trained, by the way of society’s boner
‘Cause I have to be 5’10” and in trend
And only feel good about the clothes that I’m in
Experience defined by the beds I’ve climbed in
Shadowed by a mask that I’m forced to hide in
Of course I lie then, thinking each night I need to lie beside men
Drinking each time my pride inside is rising
Trying to find me but I’ve lost what I’ve been
Who would’ve thought that it’s me that I fought each time, and
All at the cost of what I’ve become
When I look into the mirror I feel numb
Staring back at me are supersized thighs, empty, hollow eyes
Heart full of cries, brain filled with lies, body materialized, so I
Nip and I tuck, I snip and I pluck
Lips covered in muck, hips controlled by these cuffs
Can’t stick to my gut, I’m fixed and I’m stuck
I’m tricked by this bluff ‘till I’m sick and throw up
This shit is corrupt, I’m forced to grow up
Can’t fit in this stuff, this change is abrupt
Stick thin ain’t enough, must be thick with C-Cups
Tears drip as I rub off this make up that’s rough
Society’s planted silicones so we end up being sickened clones
Stuck in this cyclic flow of afflicted bones
So don’t let your sister know that she’s worth more than lipsticks and combs
Or that her blisters will show everytime she vomits at home
When your parents aren’t home and she’s all alone
Only seeing what these magazines and TV’s have shown
See I wanna be a Cover Girl, so I cover the real girl
But if you peel off these pearls, under’s a concealed world
Of a girl with hopes and dreams, brighter than things that gleam
Knows that she’s a queen, knows what her life means
‘Cause I can only be 5 feet with slanted eyes
Geek and kinda shy, small feet and crooked smile, just me with NO DISGUISE!
No. You are not family. At least not in my eyes.
"We love you because you did good."
I don’t know why but this sentence makes me sick to my stomach.